Soul Searching

For the last month, I haven't been working except for teaching at the dance studio and a few sub spots. I figured I wouldn't get many substituting jobs, but I was surprised and have kept busy with those. Other than that, I have had some time to do some soul searching. Or in other words: decompressing.

As I may have mentioned in a post a while ago, I was given the opportunity to take a step up at work. While I had a blast and kept myself busy, I was not as effective as I should have been. I thought I was, but after a good talk and reflection, I realized that I hadn't done everything that was expected of me. And I felt horrible. I don't like letting people down, and that's what I felt I had done. I started asking myself why this had happened, and what I could do to make myself better. I finally figured out that I had never let myself fully grieve after my grandma's funeral. Because of that, I allowed it to affect my personality, my work ethic, and others around me. And with my normal, happy personality hiding in the wings, I stressed myself out at work and tried to pretend that I was fine.

During this time, I was finally told that my mother might have breast cancer. You can imagine that my mood dropped further.  But I pushed through. Now, here I sit after thinking and reflecting and I feel lighter. It also helps that I had the previously mentioned talk and was able to hash out everything that needed to be taken care of. I know now what I did, understand and accept it cannot be fixed, and I'm ready to work on getting back to myself and getting back into the groove of work.

Here's to improving the mind, body, and soul!

Later Days